Tom Sawyer and Me, Sort Of - Or, Painting the Chairs

Tom Sawyer whitewashed a fence and I painted some old metal yard chairs white. I did it outside on the brand new balcony of my mountain cabin. Paint and white are about the only things my venture had in common with Tom Sawyer's, though. His was a communal pursuit that brought him many valuable items such as dead rats, partially eaten apples, orange peels, and other assorted treasures. My solitary pursuit brought rewards of a different nature, but I didn't want dead creatures and partially-eaten food items anyhow. Aunt Polly was happy that the fence was done, but I'm not so sure how happy my husband is going to be about the chairs.
You see, paint and I don't really get along. I like paint fine but it likes me too well and insists on decorating my body, clothing, and, really, any other surface nearby and not so nearby, in addition to the object being painted. It's a one-sided love affair.
I guess I could blame it on my sisters. They like antique stores and one day we found one going out of business, everything 35% off. I spotted a real treasure - three old, joined-together metal chairs that had once been part of a glider. They were really cool and reminded me of my youth. Actually, I'm not sure we ever owned any metal yard chairs when I was growing up, but if we didn't, we should have. These were rusty with peeling red, white, and blue seats, but the main selling point was that my feet reached the ground when I sat in them! Only $211 also - with that 35% off.
Wow! I could buy them for the cabin and I could repaint them myself! Never mind that I had never sanded, primed and painted a piece of furniture. Inspired by having recently decorated a friend's old dining room table with hobby paints, I felt ready to take this on. How hard could it be, really?
Buy paint. Colorful paint to decorate the finished product with. Hold on - Rust-oleum only comes in a few colors? Ok then, the decorations will be yellow, red and blue, the primer gray and the chairs white. Sparkling, pristine high-gloss white Rust-oleum. My husband got the sandpaper, I took it all up to the cabin and voila! Ready to start.